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You are the travel agent of your own life – Chicago Tribune


Dear Amy: I love travelling. It’s almost an obsession, and age (I’m over 80) hasn’t dulled my desire to GO. I had a good job and saved money so I could travel more in retirement.

However, my husband has lost much of his wanderlust and will only go if I beg.

I take one or two trips a year alone to keep us both happy. I’ve learned to enjoy a few weeks of alone time without having to worry about other people and what THEY might want to do.

I am happy to return home at the end of every trip because I miss my husband after a long time.

My problem is with my girlfriends who always want to come with me.

Most of my girlfriends my age are either divorced or widowed.

I love them all or they wouldn’t be my friends, but there are very few people I would want to travel with and be with for a few weeks.

Some tend to be negative, some talk constantly (I read in the evenings), many complain a lot about health problems.

What should I say to stop this constant rumour?

We are currently away and I invited a very easygoing lady I have been friends with since I was three years old to join us for part of the trip.

I posted a photo of the three of us on FB and a woman was so upset that SHE wasn’t invited that she canceled a visit I had planned with her a long time ago.

Should I stop talking about upcoming trips?

– S

Dear Q: In general, it is unwise to post about your travels while you are away. There are many practical reasons for this (the first is that you should not telegraph that you are away from home). Being careful when you travel will also save you from the burden of your friends’ hurt feelings.

Savvy people save social media posts for after they get home, unpack, and edit their photos.

You shouldn’t let people feel guilty about including you in your travels. (Also, if your husband doesn’t want to go, you shouldn’t blame him for joining you.)

You are not a tour guide. You are the travel agent of your own life.

If you truly believe that people are “always haranguing” you, then you should tell them, “I’m adamant about this, so I hope you’ll stop asking,” but understand that people have the right to ask anything. your. You may have to say “No, this won’t work for me” every time.

You can suggest to these friends that they consider booking a tour or cruise and traveling together.

Road Scholar is a non-profit organization that organizes tours and experiences for seniors. You can recommend it to your circle of avid travelers (roadscholar.org).

Dear Amy: My sister is very successful and kind. However, he has a habit that makes me very angry.

Every time he buys new furniture, he pawns his old items on me. Most of the things he left at my (rental) house were things that were pawned on his back during the day.

When I came home from work recently, I was greeted by a flowery 40-year-old Barcalounger who we’ve all hated and made fun of for decades. I swear it was just sitting in my garage.

My sister acts like she’s doing me a favor, but I have everything I want and need.

What should I do?

– Doesn’t Sit Well

Dear Non-Sitter: You can play this by photoshopping the Barcalounger’s various environments (a meadow, a forest, a beach) and sending sarcastic photos to your sister telling her how this chair is currently living its best life—but not with you.

You can post it on Freecycle or Facebook, or call your local Goodwill (or other donation/resale site) and ask them to add it to their pickup schedule. Someone else will be grateful that this beast is still in circulation.

Dear Amy: As someone named Debbie, I believe it is a great disaster for Debbies, Debs, Debras and Deborahs everywhere to refer to them as “Debby Downers.”

It’s pretty sad that you allow and encourage this in your column.

Please cancel it.

– Disappointed Debbie

Dear Debbie: I am officially canceling. I’m also canceling my t-shirt order.

(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or write to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or on Facebook.)


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